A core question humans ask themselves is: Who am I … and where do I belong? Underlying these questions regarding one’s identity is the master emotion – shame. Shame forms the entrance into self.
Let’s define the relationship between shame and humiliation.
Feeling ashamed leaves an alienating and vacuous feeling that one is a bad person, is damaged and will never be whole or healed again. It threatens the core sense of self and identity. Humiliation is the most powerful (most damaging), and often a longer-lasting, form of shame. Public humiliation is the worst. From this position, it fosters a desire for vengeance, unless the injustice is properly addressed. The revenge is an attempt to be whole again, to reclaim esteem and restore dignity. That said, there is, however, a crucial need for moderate shaming in societies, because moderate shame is the glue that holds societies and relationships together, and it serves as a moral gyroscope in our lives. Yet, the two extreme poles of shaming – excessive shaming and deficient shaming – are counterproductive and destructive. They both lead to the opposite result of moderate shaming: societal breakdown and violence. Under colonialism and apartheid, there was excessive shaming, while currently there is a shame deficiency. Excessive shame is characterised by extreme criticism of self and others, increased feelings of shame, dogmatism and perfectionism, conformity, prejudice and discrimination, while shame deficiency discourages mastery, is self-centred and is indifferent to the needs of others. Cycles of violence (avenging/revenge) tend to follow when groups/nations have been humiliated, creating new cycles of trauma and humiliation, which then need to be avenged again. Revenge is the attempt, although futile, to restore lost dignity and honour to large groups. There are ample examples of that in history. This perspective explains the age-old truth that we don’t learn from history. Shame is a consequence of sin. Feelings of guilt and shame are subjective acknowledgments of an objective spiritual reality. Guilt is judicial in character; shame is relational. Though related to guilt, shame emphasizes sin’s effect on self-identity. “Apartheid Brittain’s Bastardchild” Helene Opperman Lewis http://a.co/4vAt40Q
SHAME. The English word translates many different Heb. and Gr. words in the Bible. The biblical concept of shame is primarily that of an inner consciousness of guilt, failure, or unworthiness, and the frequent humiliation and reproach connected with it.
Shame is a consequence of sin. Feelings of guilt and shame are subjective acknowledgments of an objective spiritual reality. Guilt is judicial in character; shame is relational. Though related to guilt, shame emphasizes sin’s effect on self-identity.
Subjectively, one feels a sense of shame because of sin (Ezr 9:6; Jer 2:26; 31:19),
because of defeat (2 Chr 32:21; Jer 9:19),
because one’s personal modesty is violated (2 Sam 10:5; 13:11–13; 1 Cor 11:6),
or because of keen disappointment (Jer 2:36; 14:3–4; 48:13; Ps 119:31, 116).
With shame is often a sense of confusion (Jer 3:25; Ps 44:15).
Shamelessness is characteristic of abandoned wickedness (Philippians 3:19; Jude 1:13
Shame may be produced in order to lead someone to repentance (1 Cor 6:5; 15:34; 2 Thess 3:14).
While many feel ashamed of Christ and His words Mk 8:38), the true believer will not be embarrassed to confess Him before men (Rom 1:6; 2 Tim 1:12) or to stand with persecuted fellow Christians (2 Tim 1:8, 16).
Objectively, shame is the disgrace or reproach which sinners bring upon themselves (Prov 14:34). This is especially true in the area of sexual sins (Lev 20:17) and the idolatrous practices of the heathen fertility cults (Ezk 16:52, 54, 63).
Nakedness or nudity was particularly disgraceful (Isa 20:4; 47:3; Rev 3:18; Jer 13:26). God sends shame as a judgment upon sinners (Ps 44:9, 13–16) and upon the enemies of His people (Ps 71:13, 24; 132:18).
THE SOLUTION: HEB 12
1) EXCHANGE YOUR SHAME BY FIXING YOUR EYES ON JESUS
Jesus was shamed on a Cross, hanging NAKED exposed, cursed on a tree, so that we can be free from Toxic Shame. The shame attached to the cross (Heb 12:2) consisted of the curse of God on one considered to be so criminal that he was hanged on a tree (Gal 3:13 with Deut 21:23; Phil 2:8); the despised condition of one accused of blasphemy (Isa 50:6; Mt 26:65–67); the ignominy of the nakedness of the crucified one as symbolic of his being utterly forsaken by God (Isa 53:3–4; Ps 22:6–8, 16–17; Mt 27:35, 41–46); and the reproach of dying outside the city in fulfillment of the type of the sin offering (Heb 13:2–13; Lev 4:11–12). Fixing our eyes on Jesus. The more we try to cover our shame, the more obsessed we become with it. Like a pimple on you face, the more you try to cover, the more you need to check in a mirror if it is still covered. By fixing our eyes on Jesus, Seeking His righteousness first, so that he can increase the Holy Spirit will lead us out of the maze of dark shame to the light. Studying His life, reading and getting to know Him more, will reveal the true self. Our lives is hidden in Him. (Col 3:2) People asked: “Hoe do I fix my eyes on Jesus” I cannot see Him? By getting into the Word. Praying with an open Bible. Read to listen! His Word is alive. Begin to see yourself through the Word. See people through the Word, and your circumstances. In the measure that you begin to see Him, as the Holy Spirit reveals Him through the scripture, in that measure you will be free from shame and self.
2) BECOME VULNERABLE!
We tend to think of vulnerability as something we experience at particular times or occasions. We sense it when we are criticized, when we are ill, when we have been fired from a job, when we have a difficult conversation with someone we perceive has more power than we do, when we have to speak in front of an audience or have to defend a dissertation. This is not an inaccurate description of what it means to feel vulnerable, but it is not complete. In reality, vulnerability is not something we choose or that is true in a given moment, while the rest of the time it is not. Rather, it is something we are. This is why we wear clothes, live in houses and have speed limits. So much of what we do in life is designed, among other things, to protect us from the fact that we are vulnerable at all times. To be human is to be vulnerable. Jesus made Himself (being God) vulnerable by hanging on a cross. Naked, nothing to hide.
3) THINK NOTHING OF YOUR SHAME “despising the shame” Heb 12:2 καταφρονέω kataphronéō; contracted kataphronṓ, fut. kataphronḗsō, from katá (G2596), against or denoting evil, and phronéō (G5426), to think. To hold in contempt, to think lightly of, despise, to neglect, not to care for, as the opposite of antéchomai [G0472], to care for, support. Playing the hiding game is tiresome, and exhausting. Letting go of the shame, frees and liberates the soul! It is very painful and fearful to share and allow people to see your shame. But once you do it, open up, face it head on, healing begins in His Light! John 3:19-21 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 Jn 1:7)
4) BECOME ACCOUNTABLE
In Hebrews we learn that to become a child of God, and remain worthy of His call, you need to embrace and receive correction. Heb 12:4-10 Shame hides and camouflage itself continually. You cannot overcome shame alone, in isolation and from a distance! You need to get up close and personal. See correction not as rejection but love! We have too many blind spots, we do not see ourselves. We are conceited! The heart is deceitful above all things. Jer 17:9
5) FACE YOUR SHAME “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” Heb 12:12 With his power, and ability you will now have to face the weakness, inability, failure and overcome it! Gen 4:7; Rom 5:17 God want us to reign again in Christ.
In the end, God covered Adam & Eve’s shame, by sacrificing a animal, and making them clothes of their skin. In the same way Jesus covers our shame! He is our victory over Toxic shame!