God’s Definitions of Wealth Wealth is the ability (resources, strength and wisdom) to create positive outcomes in the midst of lack, poverty and/ or emptiness. Wealth is light in the darkness, healing in sickness, prosperity in poverty, wholeness in brokenness, favor in obscurity, love for the unlovely, beauty for ashes and victors among victims. Wealth is a “can-do” attitude, a “more than enough” mindset and a “nothing is impossible” belief system. Wealth is radical generosity, extraordinary compassion, sacrificial giving and profound humility. Wealth is always thankful and never jealous; it does not brag, it celebrates others and it looks to the future. Chris Vallotton

The premise of seeking the wealth of others, begin seeing the wealth within. (Col 1:27)
You cannot give what you do not have. (Mat 10:8)
The premise of bringing peace to the world, begins with finding peace within. (John 14:27)

Strange Paradox of love: When taking a flight you are instructed: “if you are traveling with an infant, place the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST before placing it over the mouth of the baby.” Take care of yourself first, before taking care of another.

God’s heart and special interest in you, is to see you prosper, succeed, and become a blessing to others.
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3John 2

Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 19: 19)
“Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church” (Ephesians 5: 28–29)
Herein lies a mystery. We struggle to love others, even our spouse in a godly manner, until we learn to love ourselves.

The word as means “the same.” In other words, love your neighbour the same way (or to the same level) at the same measure as you love yourself. Your behaviour toward your neighbour is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

Your level of self-love determines your level of people-love. Brian Adams

THE WAY I TREAT OTHERS IS A GIVEAWAY FOR HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF. If I’m always talking ABOUT other people, it says something about what I don’t like about ME. If I’m always nasty, mean, condescending, skeptical, cynical, judgmental or just plane hateful toward other people, it says something about how I feel about myself.

Inferiority – inferior love towards others.
Self-hate and self loathing – rebellion and distrust.
Feelings of worthlessness – do not value people.
Lack of self respect – no respect and concern for others.
lie to self – lie to others.
ashamed of self – cover-up, pretentious, over-bearing.
disconnect with self – disconnected with others.
When you hard on yourself – you are hard on others.

1 Cor 13 gives us Biblical instructions of love: Apply it to yourself. Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, do not compare yourself, do not boast in yourself, speak evil of self, be rude to self.


Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them. Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centred, and moving forward in your life, instead. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behaviour patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

Practice good self-care. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

Set boundaries. You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life. I love the term frenemies that I learned from my younger clients. It describes so well the type of “friends” who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than in your happiness and success. My suggestion to you here: Get rid of them! There isn’t enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, “I genuinely love myself and life”. You will love and respect yourself more.

Forgive yourself. We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn’t have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.


Being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph 3:17-19

The Shulamite bride sings “The I am dark but lovely.” Songs 1:5 She has discovered the love in her Lover’s eyes. When do we blossom, become radiant, an suddenly want to do good to all, when we know we are loved!

This is why the first commandment is:

Commanded to Love: (Joh 13: 34-35; Joh 15: 12-14; James 2:8) And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. (Deut 10:12; 30:6; Mark 12:30; Luk 10:27) Jesus Loved us first ( 1 John 4:19) His love heals us, to be healing to others. (Lev 19:18; Eph 5:2; 1 Thes 4:9; 1 Pet 1:22; 1 John 2:7)

Trying to love yourself, without God’s love, leads to a false self-centred self-love at the cost of others.

Modern psychology blames a low-self esteem for most people’s bad behaviour. Yet there is no evidence for this assumption, people with inflated (prideful) ego actually have cause more hurt and pain to society than people with a real low, deflated self esteem. The word Paul use in this passage for PRIDE is different, and only he uses this word in the NT. Pride – to be overinflated, swollen, distended beyond its proper size.

It is when you see His love for you, that you get healed and flourish, become radiant and begin to love others.
Love is reflective, it will reflect what you focus on. If you focus on self, it will reflect self. You become self-absorbed, self-centred.

This is a great paradox. The implication is very powerful; because what it means is to be authentically Christian, means I have to know how to love ME before I can love YOU. It is a PARADOX—because I have to put ME first in order to put YOU first. This is paradoxical, because we always teach and have taught that when you put yourself first, it’s being selfish.

Praat saam